I am so psychosomatic it makes me sick just thinking about it!
	-- George Constanza
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It's not a lie, if you believe it.
	-- George Constanza
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G: I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become
   hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you
   care, that indifference makes you attractive.
J: So, hopelessness is the key?
G: It's my only hope.
	-- George Constanza & Jerry Seinfeld
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Pity's very underrated. I like pity. It's good.
	-- George Constanza
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Yeah, I'm a great quitter. It's one of the few things I do well. I come from a
long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter...
I was raised to give up.
	-- George Constanza
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You can do better than me. You could throw a dart out the window and hit
someone better than me. I'm no good!
	-- George Constanza
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I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking,
'*That's* why I'm not a heterosexual.'
	-- George Constanza
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Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes
the relationship.
	-- George Constanza
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'It's not you, it's me....'? You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me'
routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them,
not me. If it's anybody, it's me.
	-- George Constanza
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For me to ask a woman out, I've got to get into a mental state like the karate
guys before they break the bricks.
	-- George Constanza
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Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over
360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year.
	-- George Constanza
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You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when
I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.
	-- George Constanza
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Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't approach
strange women.
	-- George Constanza
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Hey, it's George. I got nothing to say.
	-- George Constanza, leaving a message in Jerry's answering machine
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I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
	-- George Constanza