+%
+If you don't know what direction you should take
+You don't know where you are
+%
+Never let a fool kiss you, or let a kiss fool you
+%
+We are born naked, wet and hungry
+Then things get worse
+%
+Your success is measured by your ability to finish things
+%
+Skepticism is the beginning of failure
+%
+Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names
+%
+There is no such thing as right or wrong
+Only consequences
+%
+All men are born equal
+But quite a few get over it
+%
+Sometimes I think the sure sign that life exists elsewhere in the universe
+Is that that none of them tried to contact us
+%
+Be nice to nerds
+Chances are you'll end up working for one
+%
+Do not get mad with others
+Because they know more than you
+It is not their fault
+%
+If you do not change your beliefs
+Your life will always be like this
+%
+Fantasy is as important as wisdom
+%
+The biggest lie you can tell yourself is
+When I get what I want I will be happy
+%
+Don't take life to seriously, you won't get out alive
+%
+Creativity is great but plagiarism is faster
+%
+You are the very reason why everything happens to you
+%
+Every day 21 new born babies will be given to the wrong parents
+%
+The average person laughs 13 times a day
+%
+41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously
+%
+22% of the time a pizza will arrive faster than an ambulance in Great-Britain
+%
+3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volts battery works on their tongue
+%
+"The Guinness Book of Records" holds the record for being the most
+stolen book in public libraries
+%
+The world's best known word is "okay"
+The second most well-known word is "Coca-Cola"
+%
+Charles Chaplin once won 3rd price in a Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest
+%
+In 1995 a Japanese trawler sank, because a Russian
+cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30,000 feet
+%
+1 cigarette takes away 5 minutes of a person's life
+%
+1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth,
+today we are 6 billion people
+%
+More people die from a champagne-cork popping,
+than from poison spiders
+%
+Did you know the originally a Danish guy invented the burglar-alarm
+unfortunately, it got stolen
+%
+The number of wars fought between countries
+That both have at least one McDonalds is zero
+%
+Every 5 minutes an area of rainforest the size of a foot ball field
+Is eliminated
+%
+A can of diet coke will float in water
+While a can of regular coke will sink
+%
+The Muppet show was banned from TV in Saudi Arabia
+Because one of its stars was a pig
+%
+More than 50% of the people in the world have never made
+Or received a telephone call
+%
+According to several sources
+Dr. Harvey Kellogg tried to make a cure for masturbation
+When he made cornflakes
+%
+In Minnesota there's a law
+That prevents men from having sex with living fish
+%
+I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking
+I have five serious diseases.
+Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the mornings?"
+Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have this.
+%
+Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
+Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
+Obesity, obesity! They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
+An epidemic, like it's polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about
+it one day: The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
+"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
+"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, but there was cheesecake
+and pork chops everywhere."
+%
+Sometimes you got to suffer a little in your youth to motivate you to
+succeed later in life. Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high
+school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft? Of course not. You gotta
+spend a lot of time stuffin your own locker with your underwear wedged
+up your arse before you think "I'm gona take over the world with
+computers! You'll see I'll show them."
+%
+This homeless guy asked me for some money the other day.
+And I was gonna give it to him but then I thought you're
+just gonna use it on drugs or alcohol.
+And then I thought, that's what I'm gonna use it on.
+Why am I judging this poor bastard.
+%
+People love to judge homeless guys.
+Like, your giving him money he's just gonna waste it.
+He's just gonna waste the money
+Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do?
+Save up and buy a wall unit?
+Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
+He's homeless.
projects / personal / documentos.git / blobdiff