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[personal/documentos.git] / fortunes / seinfeld.fortunes

diff --git a/fortunes/seinfeld.fortunes b/fortunes/seinfeld.fortunes
index 2555bd83e0ce4fee72013f851642fdb64d0b7e91..4c6fd4ee13b32252dc271a0c04210566ed1929a1 100644 (file)
--- a/fortunes/seinfeld.fortunes
+++ b/fortunes/seinfeld.fortunes
@@ -28,33 +28,40 @@ I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking,
 '*That's* why I'm not a heterosexual.'
        -- George Constanza
 %
 '*That's* why I'm not a heterosexual.'
        -- George Constanza
 %

-Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes
-the relationship.
+Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely
+changes the relationship.

        -- George Constanza
 %
        -- George Constanza
 %

-'It's not you, it's me....'? You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me'
-routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them,
-not me. If it's anybody, it's me.
+'It's not you, it's me....'? You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's
+me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's
+them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me.

        -- George Constanza
 %
        -- George Constanza
 %

-For me to ask a woman out, I've got to get into a mental state like the karate
-guys before they break the bricks.
+For me to ask a woman out, I've got to get into a mental state like the
+karate guys before they break the bricks.

        -- George Constanza
 %
        -- George Constanza
 %

-Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over
-360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year.
+Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to
+have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year.

        -- George Constanza
 %
        -- George Constanza
 %

-You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when
-I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.
+You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave
+me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.

        -- George Constanza
 %
        -- George Constanza
 %

-Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't approach
-strange women.
+Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't
+approach strange women.

        -- George Constanza
 %
 Hey, it's George. I got nothing to say.
        -- George Constanza
 %
 Hey, it's George. I got nothing to say.

-       -- George Constanza, leaving a message in Jerry's answering machine
+       -- George Constanza, message in Jerry's answering machine

 %
 I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
        -- George Constanza
 %
 I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
        -- George Constanza

+%
+All fathers are intimidating. They're intimidating because they are
+fathers.  Once a man has children, for the rest of his life, his
+attitude is, "To hell with the world, I can make my own people. I'll eat
+whatever I want. I'll wear whatever I want, and I'll create whoever
+I want."
+       -- Jerry Seinfeld